Personal Tips for the Blue

This morning I saw a post on my Facebook page that got me thinking...

According to some friends and family, many are experiencing situations that require them to practice patience, learn endurance, and generally cry in frustration.

I have several friends that have returned to--or are still attending--post secondary institutions, and have encountered difficulty with a professor or particular class. Another set of friends are going through relationship or family problems.

Troublesome experiences pop up in all of our lives at one time or another, and I find that whenever this happens to a friend or family member, I immediately feel as though I understand what that person is going through. Sometimes I wish that things were as simple as it was when I was a little girl, but I couldn't simply revert back to blissful ignorance.

It would be nice if I could say that I don't experience down times as well, but sadly, I experience them all the time. The trick is to figure out how to reverse the effects that they have on your emotions. I am not an advocate for 'sucking it up and moving on', as that just bottles your emotions. After a length of time, those bottled emotions are likely to 'blow'.

There are some essential tricks that I've developed over the years that tend to help me when I'm feeling blue.

1. Talk to someone. I talk to my Mom on a daily basis. She helps to keep me grounded, and has always been an excellent ear and a shoulder to cry on if I need it. She also knows exactly what to say to make me feel better. I also confide in my husband, though he has no clue how to respond to my emotional outbursts.

2. Take a hot bath or a shower. I find that the time alone, the warmth, and the steam always help me feel more myself when I'm down. Of course, this might just be because I've got children... I will get my husband to watch them as I escape to a warm shower, and I must say... it's heaven.

3. Do something that you enjoy. I love to read, paint, scrapbook, watch movies, and write. When my emotions are in a tangle, I find that writing a good, emotional, poem is a good release, or painting while listening to music is cleansing. Though even sitting down with a good book or a movie is quite nice.

4. If you need to, cry, scream, and punch a pillow. I have had a lot of crying moments, but the screaming and hitting a pillow moments are more seldom. Sometimes, though, a good growl of frustration and a few punches to a pillow can take the edge off your frustration.

5. If a situation makes you sad--stop it. You have a right to speak up. If something makes you upset, do something about it, tell someone, or ask for help.

6. Hug someone. My sons are always willing to offer a hug, and my dog is more than happy to oblige. Arrange to meet with a friend, or family member, for a talk and give them a hug when you see them. It feels good. It may encourage more tears, but that's ok.

--Keep in mind that if you've got children, it is important that they not witness a violent outburst or shouted profanities, but it is healthy for them to see the stages of grief and anger. By seeing their parents work through their difficult moods they will, in turn, learn how to work through them as well. My sons have seen me cry many times, and they're very compassionate. They have also seen me recover from my sadness. I take the time afterward to explain to them what it was that made me upset, and how I worked through it.

I hope that this helps those friends and family who are going through emotionally difficult times.

If you ever need an ear or a hug, I'm here.

Which is Better?

I've read several articles and blogs lately about which people generally prefer; paperback copies of books, or eBook copies.


 I have heard arguments for both sides.

There are many benefits to the eBook copies: you can carry hundreds of novels with you at a time, you can easily purchase novels and read them within seconds, without actually having to leave your house (and likely your PJs). There is also the fact that there are many free novels or $1 novels available to readers online, which, let's be honest, is awesome.

E-readers are light, portable, and extremely convenient. That, in addition to the fact that they do not take up space on your bookshelves at home, have seemed to create a highly desirable set of e-reading products.

That being said, there is also the other side of the proverbial argument. Many people prefer the look, feel, and scent of actual books. Some readers have the tendency to skip ahead or peek at the end of the book before they continue to read, others are avid collectors of bookmarks and require some place to put them. There is also the value that paperback book readers place on their novels, particularly those which have been signed by the author, or hold a particular age.


Then there are people like me. I am a 'both' type of person. I have an iPad with Kobo, Kindle, and iBook apps. I have downloaded my favourite novels, free novels, cheap novels, and many in between. Some novels that I truly enjoyed reading in paperback, I downloaded as well, simply because I could. Likewise, I have found a novel on e-format and bought the paperback because I loved it enough to want a copy in my collection.

I also have antique books in my collection, but those have been placed on a separate shelf of honour. My favourite authors' (of which I have a few) novel collections still grace my bookshelves, as I reread them often, some I've read up to 12 times. When I buy new novels by my favourite authors, I always buy them in paperback, so they may join the others on my bookshelves.

So there you have it. I am an in-betweener when it comes to choosing between eBooks and paperback novels.

What about you? Do you prefer eBooks or paperback books? What sort of e-reader do you have? What do you like about it?

Something British Monday - In the Drawing Room

Last Monday, I enjoyed writing about the scenery in England. Today I'm going to write about the decor inside the home.

I cannot get enough of regency design. The furniture was immaculately designed, hand crafted with care and attention. The people that had created these pieces of art clearly took great pride in what they did. It showed in the result.

Even the walls and ceilings were designed beautifully. In the homes of the rich, there was often wainscoting, wall paper, lead paint, and intricate trimmings, wall hangings, and paintings adoring the walls.

In some of these pictures, you will see that the ceilings had been either painted with an intricate design, or often stuck with gold flakes.

Brocade rugs were often the rugs of choice, and suited the homes perfectly.

In most homes, one would see several types of rooms; dining room, morning room, family room, music room, office, drawing room, parlour, and bedchambers. But in the larger homes, there could also be a breakfast room, library, ballroom, games room, card room, greenhouse, art studio, and some very rich people had rooms in which they could display statues, paintings (such as a gallery), and a collection (such as weaponry), and often more rooms set aside for quiet reflection. For a glossary of regency terms, click here.

Three of these pictures are of ballrooms. I can just imagine them filled with gentlemen and ladies dancing a quadrille or waltz with a band set to one side (or on a balcony). These could be the setting for a new love to bloom, or for a poor young lady to be spurned. There are endless possibilities for what the imagination could concoct within these walls. I simply cannot wait to explore all the options.

What do you think? Do you find Regency homes as fascinating as I do?

Something British Monday #8 - British Scenery

One thing that I find wonderful about my writing taking place in Great Britain, is the lovely scenery that comes naturally with the location. I greatly enjoy searching the internet for the perfect inspiration for each scene in my novels.

The picture to the right, with the beautifully coloured trees and the small cabin, was the inspiration for one of the locations in my second novel, The Trouble With Love. Beautiful, isn't it?

I find these two to be very mysterious. I could just imagine a couple running through this forest, and ensconced in this castle.

I think I'll put these two in future novels. The scenery is simply lovely.

These two winter scenes are the inspiration for the home of the Marquess of Withington in my third novel, Love and Deceit. At least half of the novel will take place in this massive home and on its grounds.  What do you think?

Do you like the scenery in Great Britain as well?

Something British Monday #7 - Pride and Prejudice

Firstly, I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for my absence over the past week. I've been focusing on editing and preparing my newest novel (The Trouble With Love) for publication.

With that said, now lets move on to Pride and Prejudice.

I love Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. I first read it while attending an English Literature class in my first year of college. And I fell in love. I fell in love with Mr. Darcy, with the wonderful Elizabeth Bennett, with Austen's sense of humour, and quite simply, the story itself.

There have been many film and TV versions of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, but my favourite would have to be the BBC version starring Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle. It was exactly what I had imagined while I had read the novel. They followed the novel beautifully, with minimal changes to the script so as to be unnoticeable.

I must confess, that I watch it at least once per month.

What about you? Have you read Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice? Did you enjoy it as much as I did? Which film version is your favourite?

Nightmares

Nightmares have troubled me since I was very young. Of course, at a young age, most were about getting left behind or losing my mom in a crowd. But occasionally, they were very disconcerting…

I had recurring nightmares that still haunt me today, though none should be described here. Two themes occurred frequently in my nightmares, however, and one was… arachnids. That’s correct; I am terrified of spiders. I believe the term is “Arachnophobia”.

The second theme that often appeared in my nightmares was a ‘chase’; I continuously had to run from villains, whether they be torch-and-pitchfork-wielding townsfolk, or an evil doer with a dagger.

What made me think of creating this blog today is that last night my oldest son (aged 3 1/2) woke me out of a deep sleep with fearful cries. He claimed that Daddy had put someone else in his car seat and drove home without him, leaving him at the beach. Now, I haven’t the faintest idea what happened to inspire this fear of being left behind, but it reminded me of some old nightmares that I had had as a child and it made me wonder about what is frightening from a child’s perspective.

Upon reflection, I can clearly see the similarities between my son’s nightmares and my own as a young child. And, of course, after having experienced the terror of constant nightmares, I am confident that I know how to comfort him.

As an adult, I tend to calm myself after a nightmare by reading a book. As a child I simply lay there in the darkness or called for my mom. And as a mom with a child who has nightmares, I am happy to go and spend some time with him in the middle of the night. I think that having experienced nightmares, myself, that I have empathy for what he is going through.

What about you? Did you have any recurring nightmares as a child? Do you still? What did you do to calm yourself down after?

Something British Monday #6 - David Beckham

Hello everyone! Today's Something British Monday is going to be a celebration! You see, I finally finished writing my second Historical Romance novel! (My first novel, Love's Misadventure, is already available online). So what I chose to do today is celebrate with David Beckham, British football star!

Please join me in admiring the British splendour that is Mr. Beckham!

Thank you, to all my friends and fans for your support! I wouldn't be where I am today without you!

So Close I Can Taste It!

Over the last week I have spent a significant amount of time focusing solely on completing my latest novel. It currently sits at just over 82,000 words, and my hope is to achieve my 91,000 word goal by the end of the next two weeks.

Attaining my goal, of course, means that writing is pretty much all I am doing, apart from taking care of my children. Luckily for me, I have a wonderful Mom who offers to take the kids off my hands on occasion. Yesterday was such an occasion. It was wonderful. I woke up early, got my computer out and wrote until the kids were brought home late in the evening. I was able to write 4,400 words in one day!

Every time I write another 1,000 words, I get so excited! That is one thousand words closer to my goal!

It is for that reason that I have not posted many blogs of late. I plan to focus on my novel until it is finished and edited, then I will be back to my normal self!

Distraction

Distraction is something that every writer will have to face at some time or another. Of course, most people whether they are writers or not will experience it as well. But for a writer, distraction has the tendency to put back one's publication date and that's not--oh look! A puppy!

With two young sons (both under the age of 4), I tend to get distracted rather frequently, and very easily. My work is constantly set aside when my sons require my attention, or they want juice, or they want to colour, or watch a movie, or... well, the list could go on.

I also get distracted easily without my sons' help. There are countless ways for one to get distracted; there are household chores, food, tea, TV, and the worst of all... social media. I enjoy it far too much. I am constantly on Facebook, Pinterest, and checking on my Twitter  and Goodreads accounts. It is simply unfair how addictive social media has become, and as I am always on my computer, it is far too easy to click my internet button and browse my pages instead of writing my next chapter.

The question is, as a writer, how do I keep myself focused on what I am writing and not on that tempting "safari" button at the bottom of my screen? Well, it's simple. When I need to focus (when my kids are busy with other projects or they're with their grandparents), I turn off my network. Easy as that. Sure, I find myself still clicking on my browser, but when the screen pops up saying I'm not connected to the network, I  remember that I should be working, so I close it down and get back to writing. It actually works very well with me. I can get right back to what I was writing, and after a short while, I stop clicking on my browser button.

What about you? What distracts you? What do you do to regain your focus?

Something British Monday #5: Top Gear

Over the last couple of years, my husband has been watching a show on the BBC called Top Gear. The funny/odd part about this is that I have come to love it! It's hysterical! The three men, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May host the show.

The hosts are hilarious, and the show itself is filled with their crazy antics. Each show they have some sort of adventure, whether it be riding scooters across China, or driving across the Sahara Desert with the windows removed from their vehicles, or off-roading through the rain forest, or building the ultimate wheelchair then seeing how off-road it could be.

In each episode they also test out vehicles and compare the speed around their 'track'. Once they have gone around, they pass the job off to 'The Stig'.

But what has me so entertained are their adventures. They do the most ridiculous things, which keeps me wanting more. Then, of course, are their entertaining personalities and pleasing English accents.

This pleases my husband, no end, for he can watch his car shows and still have me sitting beside him on the couch, laughing at the same things as him.

What about you? Do you watch Top Gear? What was your favourite episode? Do you like other shows by the BBC?

When Inspiration Strikes

A few mornings ago I was woken up at 5:30am by my husband as he was leaving for work. Needless to say I was exhausted and promptly turned over and tried to fall back to sleep. But I couldn't. My mind would not turn back off once it had turned on. I simply could not stop my thoughts from running though everything... from what I had to do that day to what I should have done better the day before. Then suddenly it hit me! A new plot for a new novel.

Surprisingly, I had not been thinking of anything remotely similar to the plot that suddenly occurred to me. It was entirely a fluke.

Later that day I was doing the dishes and listening to some music when I was hit again! It must have been the lyrics that put the plot in my mind, but for the second time that day I had thought of a new outline for a novel. That adds up to 8 total plotlines floating around in my mind and outlined in my notebook.

Those two occurrences got me thinking of all the circumstances in which I find inspiration. It can happen while you are performing an ordinary task, such as my washing dishes, or it can come to you when you are doing research, watching a program on TV, or observing people in the foodcourt at the mall. I have found inspiration in many odd places.

I have likewise suffered from a lack of inspiration. I have sat staring at my computer screen with my hands poised above my keyboard, just waiting for the right word, right sentence, right anything to pop into my head... but nothing would come. It is times such as those that I believe walking away from  your project will help your mind work. Go for a walk, watch a program on TV, ride a bike, or do some household cleaning. Eventually the right thoughts will occur to you.

Have you ever suffered from a lack of inspiration? What did you do to make it come back? Where is the oddest place you have been inspired?

Something British Monday #4: Regency Fashion

One reason why I am fascinated by Regency England is because of the fashion. I love the empire waist dresses, the gloves, the fans, the men’s breeches, cravats, and hessian boots. The hats can appear ridiculous, but it kept the women’s complexions untouched by the sun, despite the many hours they spent out of doors.

Fashion had a fascinating affect on society at the time. In today’s day and age, everyone has a different sense of style, but in Regency England, the men and women all wore the same style. The only differentiating factors were the material used and the quality of the gowns and suits.

The interesting thing about this is that if a woman didn’t follow society’s dictates of fashion, they were considered ‘fast’ (or in today’s terms, a ‘slut’). People would protect their daughters from those such women by refusing to allow them to socialize or by giving them the ‘cut direct’, or ‘cold shoulder’.

The men in that time were either average in dress, or they were considered a 'dandy'. A dandy was a man who spent hours on his appearance. Perhaps they were perfecting their cravat, or they were straightening their waistcoat, or even adding a bejewelled cravat pin or cane. Whatever it was that they did, their added effort often encouraged other young bucks to follow in the fashion trend.

It was unseemly for men to be seen without a jacket by the opposite sex. The only time it was permissible for a man to be in his shirtsleeves or without his cravat was in the company of men, and likely in his office or library at home. But never in public.

I have several books on Regency fashion, I have looked up photos, and I have watched most films that took place in that period. I am simply captivated by it!

How do you like Regency fashion? Do you find it as interesting as I, or do you find corsets and stockings a bore?

Setting Goals

I have recently begun setting some goals for myself.

For my new novel I have the plot lined out and am currently sitting at just over 62,000 words. I find that I am very easily distracted with the goings on in my home, and setting goals for myself encourages me to focus.

My breakfast - Spinach, 1 apple,
3 hand-fulls of grapes and 1/4 watermelon.

I estimated that I could write a certain amount of words in one day, then I went through my calendar and set small goals in 5,000 word intervals. If I hit each of those days, then I will succeed in reaching my ultimate goal of over 90,000 words by October 20th. Of course, those numbers will give me plenty of leeway should there be a family function or two that takes my attention away for the day.

My snack.

The other goal that I have set for myself (as was mentioned in my blog post for Wednesday), is that of eating healthier. I must say that the juice that I have been making is actually quite delicious! 

I really like the idea of setting small goals for onesself. Nothing too extravagant that may seem out of reach, but small, easily attainable goals. I find that with the smaller goals, they happen more frequently, and therefore give us a sense of satisfaction and pride for having achieved the goal, until ultimately, we reach the large prize at the end.

My lunch - 3 leaves of kale, 1 carrot stick,
1 cucumber, 2 oranges, 1 apple, 2 celery sticks.

In the case of my novel, it is completing it, and in the case of my juice, it is gaining a healthier lifestyle and perhaps losing some left-over baby weight.

Do you set small goals for yourself or do you go for one big goal?

Juicing

Last night I watched a documentary called “Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead” and it got me thinking. Seriously thinking. The statistics and information that they shared was mind-boggling. I am amazed at the amount of fast food the average person eats, and the average consumption of starches, sugars, and fats, compared to that of vegetables and fruits.

The documentary started off with one man who was, fat, sick, and nearly dead, deciding to take control of his life and his future by going on a 60 day juice fast. He would ‘juice’ large quantities of vegetables and fruits for every meal for 60 days with the hopes of getting to a healthy weight and reducing or eliminating the amount of medication that he was required to take in order to stay alive. After his 60 day juice fast, he would then endeavor to maintain a healthy lifestyle, eating mostly vegetables and fruits.

And you know what? He did it! He lost his unhealthy weight, slowly reduced, then eliminated all the medications he was on (with the approval of his physician), and he maintained his weight afterwards by not eating fast or processed foods, and eating lots of fruits and veggies. It was remarkable.

Along his journey, he met some people that he inspired to do the same. Their results were similar. One woman suffered from migraines, but after juicing for 10 days, her migraines disappeared.

I can honestly say that I, personally, don’t eat enough fruits and veggies. But this documentary inspired me. It inspired me to try my own sort of juicing goal for 10 days. I will not cut out food altogether, but I will juice for breakfast and lunch, and I will eat dinner with my husband and sons. Of course, I will not eat pizzas, pastas, or junk, but I will make salads (which I make 3-4 times per week anyway), and other raw fruit and veggie based meals. That way I’m not fasting per-se, but will still consume the fruits and vegetables that my body needs.

Here goes nothin’!

Something British Monday #3: David Gandy

Good morning, Monday! Did everyone see the Olympic closing ceremonies yesterday? No? That's a shame. Yes? Well, then you must have seen the world's most successful male model, David Gandy, appear on stage.

If you follow me on Facebook, then you must know that I hold a slight tendre for the man. As I saw him revealed at yesterday's ceremony, I excitedly yelled, "It's David Gandy!!", causing my husband and sons to twitch in their seats. Let me show you what has me so enamoured...

He has sexy glasses:

He has excellent taste in undergarments:

He knows just the right spot to take a girl on vacation:

Very tasteful choice in swimwear:

He loves animals:

He's a true thinker:

He has beautiful blue eyes:

He knows the value of hydration:

He has impeccable style:

And yes, ladies, he's straight, and single! (I strongly urge you to google him...)

If you are interested in listening to him speak in his sexy English accent, check out these videos:
Interview on Jonathan Ross show
David Gandy and Battersea Dogs & Cats Home
Dulce & Gabbana Light Blue commercial


Rest assured, he is most definitely going to be a hero in one of my future novels.

Now I thought I would ask you: Are there any models (male or female) that you would like to see appear as a hero or heroine in a novel? Do you agree that David Gandy should be considered "David Candy"?