Personal Tips for the Blue

This morning I saw a post on my Facebook page that got me thinking...

According to some friends and family, many are experiencing situations that require them to practice patience, learn endurance, and generally cry in frustration.

I have several friends that have returned to--or are still attending--post secondary institutions, and have encountered difficulty with a professor or particular class. Another set of friends are going through relationship or family problems.

Troublesome experiences pop up in all of our lives at one time or another, and I find that whenever this happens to a friend or family member, I immediately feel as though I understand what that person is going through. Sometimes I wish that things were as simple as it was when I was a little girl, but I couldn't simply revert back to blissful ignorance.

It would be nice if I could say that I don't experience down times as well, but sadly, I experience them all the time. The trick is to figure out how to reverse the effects that they have on your emotions. I am not an advocate for 'sucking it up and moving on', as that just bottles your emotions. After a length of time, those bottled emotions are likely to 'blow'.

There are some essential tricks that I've developed over the years that tend to help me when I'm feeling blue.

1. Talk to someone. I talk to my Mom on a daily basis. She helps to keep me grounded, and has always been an excellent ear and a shoulder to cry on if I need it. She also knows exactly what to say to make me feel better. I also confide in my husband, though he has no clue how to respond to my emotional outbursts.

2. Take a hot bath or a shower. I find that the time alone, the warmth, and the steam always help me feel more myself when I'm down. Of course, this might just be because I've got children... I will get my husband to watch them as I escape to a warm shower, and I must say... it's heaven.

3. Do something that you enjoy. I love to read, paint, scrapbook, watch movies, and write. When my emotions are in a tangle, I find that writing a good, emotional, poem is a good release, or painting while listening to music is cleansing. Though even sitting down with a good book or a movie is quite nice.

4. If you need to, cry, scream, and punch a pillow. I have had a lot of crying moments, but the screaming and hitting a pillow moments are more seldom. Sometimes, though, a good growl of frustration and a few punches to a pillow can take the edge off your frustration.

5. If a situation makes you sad--stop it. You have a right to speak up. If something makes you upset, do something about it, tell someone, or ask for help.

6. Hug someone. My sons are always willing to offer a hug, and my dog is more than happy to oblige. Arrange to meet with a friend, or family member, for a talk and give them a hug when you see them. It feels good. It may encourage more tears, but that's ok.

--Keep in mind that if you've got children, it is important that they not witness a violent outburst or shouted profanities, but it is healthy for them to see the stages of grief and anger. By seeing their parents work through their difficult moods they will, in turn, learn how to work through them as well. My sons have seen me cry many times, and they're very compassionate. They have also seen me recover from my sadness. I take the time afterward to explain to them what it was that made me upset, and how I worked through it.

I hope that this helps those friends and family who are going through emotionally difficult times.

If you ever need an ear or a hug, I'm here.

Which is Better?

I've read several articles and blogs lately about which people generally prefer; paperback copies of books, or eBook copies.


 I have heard arguments for both sides.

There are many benefits to the eBook copies: you can carry hundreds of novels with you at a time, you can easily purchase novels and read them within seconds, without actually having to leave your house (and likely your PJs). There is also the fact that there are many free novels or $1 novels available to readers online, which, let's be honest, is awesome.

E-readers are light, portable, and extremely convenient. That, in addition to the fact that they do not take up space on your bookshelves at home, have seemed to create a highly desirable set of e-reading products.

That being said, there is also the other side of the proverbial argument. Many people prefer the look, feel, and scent of actual books. Some readers have the tendency to skip ahead or peek at the end of the book before they continue to read, others are avid collectors of bookmarks and require some place to put them. There is also the value that paperback book readers place on their novels, particularly those which have been signed by the author, or hold a particular age.


Then there are people like me. I am a 'both' type of person. I have an iPad with Kobo, Kindle, and iBook apps. I have downloaded my favourite novels, free novels, cheap novels, and many in between. Some novels that I truly enjoyed reading in paperback, I downloaded as well, simply because I could. Likewise, I have found a novel on e-format and bought the paperback because I loved it enough to want a copy in my collection.

I also have antique books in my collection, but those have been placed on a separate shelf of honour. My favourite authors' (of which I have a few) novel collections still grace my bookshelves, as I reread them often, some I've read up to 12 times. When I buy new novels by my favourite authors, I always buy them in paperback, so they may join the others on my bookshelves.

So there you have it. I am an in-betweener when it comes to choosing between eBooks and paperback novels.

What about you? Do you prefer eBooks or paperback books? What sort of e-reader do you have? What do you like about it?

Something British Monday - In the Drawing Room

Last Monday, I enjoyed writing about the scenery in England. Today I'm going to write about the decor inside the home.

I cannot get enough of regency design. The furniture was immaculately designed, hand crafted with care and attention. The people that had created these pieces of art clearly took great pride in what they did. It showed in the result.

Even the walls and ceilings were designed beautifully. In the homes of the rich, there was often wainscoting, wall paper, lead paint, and intricate trimmings, wall hangings, and paintings adoring the walls.

In some of these pictures, you will see that the ceilings had been either painted with an intricate design, or often stuck with gold flakes.

Brocade rugs were often the rugs of choice, and suited the homes perfectly.

In most homes, one would see several types of rooms; dining room, morning room, family room, music room, office, drawing room, parlour, and bedchambers. But in the larger homes, there could also be a breakfast room, library, ballroom, games room, card room, greenhouse, art studio, and some very rich people had rooms in which they could display statues, paintings (such as a gallery), and a collection (such as weaponry), and often more rooms set aside for quiet reflection. For a glossary of regency terms, click here.

Three of these pictures are of ballrooms. I can just imagine them filled with gentlemen and ladies dancing a quadrille or waltz with a band set to one side (or on a balcony). These could be the setting for a new love to bloom, or for a poor young lady to be spurned. There are endless possibilities for what the imagination could concoct within these walls. I simply cannot wait to explore all the options.

What do you think? Do you find Regency homes as fascinating as I do?

Something British Monday #8 - British Scenery

One thing that I find wonderful about my writing taking place in Great Britain, is the lovely scenery that comes naturally with the location. I greatly enjoy searching the internet for the perfect inspiration for each scene in my novels.

The picture to the right, with the beautifully coloured trees and the small cabin, was the inspiration for one of the locations in my second novel, The Trouble With Love. Beautiful, isn't it?

I find these two to be very mysterious. I could just imagine a couple running through this forest, and ensconced in this castle.

I think I'll put these two in future novels. The scenery is simply lovely.

These two winter scenes are the inspiration for the home of the Marquess of Withington in my third novel, Love and Deceit. At least half of the novel will take place in this massive home and on its grounds.  What do you think?

Do you like the scenery in Great Britain as well?

Something British Monday #7 - Pride and Prejudice

Firstly, I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for my absence over the past week. I've been focusing on editing and preparing my newest novel (The Trouble With Love) for publication.

With that said, now lets move on to Pride and Prejudice.

I love Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. I first read it while attending an English Literature class in my first year of college. And I fell in love. I fell in love with Mr. Darcy, with the wonderful Elizabeth Bennett, with Austen's sense of humour, and quite simply, the story itself.

There have been many film and TV versions of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, but my favourite would have to be the BBC version starring Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle. It was exactly what I had imagined while I had read the novel. They followed the novel beautifully, with minimal changes to the script so as to be unnoticeable.

I must confess, that I watch it at least once per month.

What about you? Have you read Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice? Did you enjoy it as much as I did? Which film version is your favourite?

Nightmares

Nightmares have troubled me since I was very young. Of course, at a young age, most were about getting left behind or losing my mom in a crowd. But occasionally, they were very disconcerting…

I had recurring nightmares that still haunt me today, though none should be described here. Two themes occurred frequently in my nightmares, however, and one was… arachnids. That’s correct; I am terrified of spiders. I believe the term is “Arachnophobia”.

The second theme that often appeared in my nightmares was a ‘chase’; I continuously had to run from villains, whether they be torch-and-pitchfork-wielding townsfolk, or an evil doer with a dagger.

What made me think of creating this blog today is that last night my oldest son (aged 3 1/2) woke me out of a deep sleep with fearful cries. He claimed that Daddy had put someone else in his car seat and drove home without him, leaving him at the beach. Now, I haven’t the faintest idea what happened to inspire this fear of being left behind, but it reminded me of some old nightmares that I had had as a child and it made me wonder about what is frightening from a child’s perspective.

Upon reflection, I can clearly see the similarities between my son’s nightmares and my own as a young child. And, of course, after having experienced the terror of constant nightmares, I am confident that I know how to comfort him.

As an adult, I tend to calm myself after a nightmare by reading a book. As a child I simply lay there in the darkness or called for my mom. And as a mom with a child who has nightmares, I am happy to go and spend some time with him in the middle of the night. I think that having experienced nightmares, myself, that I have empathy for what he is going through.

What about you? Did you have any recurring nightmares as a child? Do you still? What did you do to calm yourself down after?

Something British Monday #6 - David Beckham

Hello everyone! Today's Something British Monday is going to be a celebration! You see, I finally finished writing my second Historical Romance novel! (My first novel, Love's Misadventure, is already available online). So what I chose to do today is celebrate with David Beckham, British football star!

Please join me in admiring the British splendour that is Mr. Beckham!

Thank you, to all my friends and fans for your support! I wouldn't be where I am today without you!