Lately I have noticed that friends, acquaintances, and I have been agreeing to make plans to ‘hang out’ or ‘go for coffee’, but nothing comes of it. I have begun to suspect that some of my friends say they want to get together but don’t truly mean it. Others, I can tell that they are sincere when they wish to make plans.
It is when I say something like “great! What days are you available?” that they respond with “oh, well I’m pretty busy, but I’ll get back to you" that I realize that they probably don’t really want to get together; they were just trying to be nice.
Has it become a social convention to simply say those words, “let’s get together sometime”, when no one really means it? If so, why do you suppose we all fall in with that trend?
I, myself, never say it without meaning it. When I tell a friend that I want to get together, go for coffee sometime, or get our kids together for a playdate, I genuinely mean it. I’m a stay-at-home mom; I generally do not speak to adults in my daily routine until my husband gets home from work. I need the social interaction. So when I try to make plans with a friend and they don’t follow through, it does more than disappoint.
I know that my friends do not mean to insult. They are simply busy. I understand, as I have been busy myself from time to time. But when I am too busy, I endeavor to make alternate plans for the next week or another day.
I am beginning to fear that this social convention is to become a permanent statement in the average conversation. I hear it everywhere, and not always directed at me. Old friends from highschool or old acquaintances will bump into each other at a coffee shop and say “wow, it’s so great to see you again! We should get together and catch up!” But do you truly believe that they’ll ‘get together’? Probably not.
How about you? Do you use this statement on a regular basis? Do you ever follow through with it? Do you, like me, fear that this statement is here to stay? Have you ever been on the receiving end of this statement and been disappointed with the outcome?